By this time tomorrow, there will be a baby, and by this time on Saturday, I’ll get to eat my long-awaited turkey sandwich. In fact, I’m going to eat turkey sandwiches every day next week. That doesn’t mean I’m more excited about turkey sandwiches than I am about our baby; rather, I’ve never had a baby before, so I don’t really know what I’ve been missing for 9 months.
Surprisingly, I can’t say that the past 9 months have flown by. Every time I remember something that happened along the way, it seems like a really long time ago. So, I don’t feel like it went too fast, and I’m satisfied with how we spent the time…even though I didn’t finish beating the rest of my Nintendo games. It’s okay…I fully expect the Nintendo to still work when Talia graduates high school, and Castlevania will still be waiting for me.
Speaking of important life goals, though, I realized yesterday that I actually did something that I consciously set out to do a couple years ago. When I became a tech writer in 2010, I didn’t really know how I would feel about my new job. I just knew I couldn’t withstand the work-life imbalance in my teaching career anymore, especially since I was getting married, and especially if I ever wanted to have kids. Sooo, when I came to NI, I remember telling people that I’d be satisfied just to establish myself well enough that they’d let me consider coming back part-time if I were to have kids. In retrospect, I really have no evidence that they ever say no to a request like that, but as I left work on Tuesday for the last time this year, I realized that I’d reached the “check-in” point for this goal. Happily, I feel really good about what I’ve accomplished over the past two years…good in a way that I never felt as a teacher. I’ve definitely still worked some long hours for limited stretches of time, but here it has always been obvious how that extra work contributed toward not only something tangible (i.e. my writing projects) but also toward improving my performance. I maintain that I was a good teacher, but in that role I just wasn’t able to identify a connection between my hard work and measurable outcomes. So, even though it’s rare for me to feel certainty about decisions, this little moment of reflection crystallized the realization that I made the right choice to come to NI, and I look forward to returning in January (because, yes, they’re letting me come back at 30 hours a week for a while :) ).
Anyway, about that kid…I don’t feel particularly terrified or nervous at the moment. With most things in life, I try to be as ready as possible, and even then I stress that I always could have done more to be more ready. Unfortunately, that often means that, the readier I try to be, the less ready I feel. With the baby, however, there’s just no way to know what to expect, and I think that works in my favor by forcing me to live a bit more in the moment. That being said, our scrum board did help us get more done than we would have had we waited until these last couple of weeks. This is quite fortunate because I’ve accomplished very little over the past month…we’d already finished all the important stuff, and I’ve felt too gross and/or tired to worry about the smaller stuff. In conclusion, I feel pretty stoic right now, which, considering some of the alternatives, is fine with me.
Things I accomplished this week:
- Ate expensive steaks
- Finished curtains (this took three times as long as I expected)
- Finished giraffe picture, though I don’t know how to hang it
Things that didn’t get done:
- Finish flower mobile (Laura M. says that Jonathan will need some projects to work on while I’m feeding the baby, so he can pin the flowers to the ceiling)
- Clean out pantry (my mom said she could help with that)
- Finish cleaning the garage (Another Jonathan project)
- Organize nursery drawers (um…a book I read said it was stupid to try to organize things beforehand. I don’t think I agree, but now I can blame the book.)
Final Race-against-the-Baby score:
- Me: 6
- Talia: 4
That is all. Wish us luck :)